Winifred Reilly - It Takes One To Tango

How I Rescued My Marriage With (Almost) No Help From My Spouse—And How You Can, Too

With a focus on self-empowerment and resilience, this refreshing and witty relationship guide has a reassuring counterintuitive message for unhappy spouses: you only need one partner to initiate far-reaching positive change in a marriage.
Conventional wisdom says that “it takes two” to turn a troubled marriage around and that both partners must have a shared commitment to change. So when couples can’t agree on how—or whether—to make their marriage better, many give up or settle for a less-than-satisfying marriage (or think the only way out is divorce).
Fortunately, there is an alternative. “What distinguishes Reilly’s book is that she says a warring couple don’t have to agree on the goal of staying together; it takes one person changing, not both, to make a marriage work” (The New York Times).
Marriage and family therapist Winifred Reilly has this message for struggling partners: Take the lead. Doing so is effective—and powerful. Through Reilly’s own story of reclaiming her now nearly forty-year marriage, along with anecdotes from many clients she’s worked with, you’ll learn how to:
Focus on your own behaviors and change them in ways that make you feel good about yourself and your marriage
Take a firm stand for what truly matters to you without arguing, cajoling, or resorting to threats
Identify the “big picture” issues at the basis of your repetitive fights—and learn how to unhook from them
Be less reactive, especially in the face of your spouse’s provocations
Develop the strength and stamina to be the sole agent of change
Combining psychological theory, practical advice, and personal narrative, It Takes One to Tango is a “wise and uplifting” (Dr. Ellyn Bader, Director of The Couples Institute) guide that will empower those who choose to take a bold, proactive approach to creating a loving and lasting marriage.

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